"Go to sleep, lullaby, you’ve been fed and you’re sleepy. You’ll be with uncle Lorne, who in no way resents not being asked to go to the ballet. And is certainly, not thinking, of selling you to the first vampire cult that makes him a decent offer…"
— Lorne, AKA The Host, AKA Krevlornswath of the Deathwok Clan






"Reliable as a cheap fortune cookie."











"Reliable as a cheap fortune cookie."











"Reliable as a cheap fortune cookie."











"Reliable as a cheap fortune cookie."











"Reliable as a cheap fortune cookie."











"Reliable as a cheap fortune cookie."

"Reliable as a cheap fortune cookie."

"f(x) needs a comeback"
— obama probably (via amberlius)

fleete:

Can I just say that one of my very favorite parts of Winter Soldier was Nick Fury cocking an eyebrow at the police officers side-eyeing his expensive vehicle and sneering, “You wanna see my lease?”

Because the idea of Nick Motherfucking Fury having to deal with shit as disgusting and petty as racial profiling is sort of painfully realistic and heartbreaking.  He’s hugely, massively powerful, and he’s sitting in his bulletproof car pondering decisions of worldwide import, but also he gets pulled over sometimes and asked for his registration because the police assume he stole it.  

Ack.  I was just so pleased that they included that line.

omnicat:

genalovestoons:

kungphooey:

my headcanon here is that legolas is just BARELY visibly holding it together

since canon tells us that mirkwood elves like to party and are fully capable of passing out from drunk

so legolas is using EVERYTHING HE HAS to fuck with gimli and pretend he hasn’t a clue what it’s like to be affected by alcohol

while inside he’s all ‘sdkla;hgsj you can do this leggles you can do this’

‘don’t think about that time you blacked out from dorwinion wine while naked in the middle of an impromptu archery contest’

‘and all your friends drew orc penises on your face’

‘and when you woke up you were halfway to dale without a clue as to how you got there’

‘And especially don’t think about that time you drank so much that the dwarves you were supposed to be watching escaped in the empty barrels of wine.’

‘Dad never let me hear the end of that one’

Leggles

(Source: thorinium)

chemicaltribe:

Oh my god, old Irish proverbs are the best

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imageand my personal favourite

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chemicaltribe:

Oh my god, old Irish proverbs are the best

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imageand my personal favourite

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meowrailsprite:

animatedcatastrophe:

I JUST GOOGLED WHAT CAUSES PERIOD PAINS AND APPARENTLY IT’S BECAUSE THE UTERUS CONTRACTS AND THAT CUTS OFF THE FUCKING BLOOD SUPPLY 

PEOPLE WITH PERIOD PAINS ARE LITERALLY FEELING THEIR UTERUS TRYING TO KILL ITSELF 

hello yes 911 this is an emergency my uterus is trying to kill itself

(Source: bryansbeard)

kaisergeiser:

Quoth the raven,
BRUSHIE BRUSHIE.

kaisergeiser:

Quoth the raven,

BRUSHIE BRUSHIE.

(Source: a-p-p-e-t-e-n-c-e)

justalotobsessed:

OKAY, I’M REALLY PISSED OFF

DID YOU ALL KNOW THAT GIRLS BODIES ARE SUPPOSED TO STORE MORE FAT THE BOYS BODIES? 

AND YET, IT’S MORE ACCEPTABLE FOR A BOY TO ‘BE BIG’ THEN IT IS FOR A GIRL TO ‘BE FAT’

WE ARE STIGMATIZED FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY BIOLOGICAL

bnaksy:

bullshitting an essay and getting a good grade for it

image

(Source: lovelytreknote)

"Griffin’s molecules became photosensitive, Watson’s mind grew to new heights, and Tesla’s reaction was the most dramatic. His genetic disposition brought forth vampiric traits which had lain dormant in his genes. But your mother? Well, her gift was the most simple and elegant.”

(Source: theresnothingcruviswithme)

You think you alone loved mother?

(Source: darktheoceans)